When someone you love is dying, what do you do?
Do you seek the advice of a medical professional? Do you believe/trust what they tell you? Do you seek a second opinion?
Do you reach out to a priest or minister?
Do you pretend this imminent death won’t really occur and a miracle will happen keeping your loved one alive indefinitely?
Do you speak with your loved one about how They may be feeling?
Do you check in with yourself to see how You are feeling about death and not having your loved one around?
Perhaps seeking a death consultant, end of life doula would be helpful to you and your loved one while dealing with the stress, uneasiness of your emotions during this time.
Often, we avoid discussing death and its meaning, thinking if we don’t have any conversations about death, it will just go away and never happen. Death will occur whether we discuss it or not. Every living thing dies. It is the circle of life. We come into this dimension/world-birth and we leave this dimension/world-death.
Why do we fear death so much? Is it not knowing how we will die or is it the when we will die? Would you live differently if you knew the how and when?
I find by celebrating life fully each day, my death will be more peaceful as I have few regrets. I am curious of people’s perceptions and feelings surrounding the topic of death. I feel the more open discussions we can share with our loved one, some of this fear dissipates for us and our loved one.
What could be more important as a person is nearing their end of life, than having an open, honest, non judgmental conversation about what They are feeling? Anxiety, pain, regrets, forgiveness all may come to the forefront. Relief of being able to forgive someone or accept forgiveness may make this transition more peaceful.
Where a person dies is also important. Sometimes discovering where your loved one wants to die can be a good conversation starter. Do they want to die at home instead of a hospital or care facility, or maybe a care facility or hospital instead of at home. You can arrange their room with soft lights, favorite music, flowers and their favorite things to ease their anxiety and pain. This atmosphere provides comfort and ease and the true presence of love. Make this room as comfortable as possible for them and also for the people who may visit.
There are many ways to celebrate life until we take our last breath. Which way will you choose?
For more check out my book A Graceful Goodbye